Jewellery

I had two people ask me if I was suffering from a case of the Monday's today. I suppose I was. Both of the attorney's I work for were out of the office, and I was answering the phone and updating files. I have a feeling I'll be bombarded with things to do tomorrow since they'll probably both be playing catch up. It's cool though. I really like the office I work in. Everyone is so nice and even though I don't have a window, I can enjoy the view of the Skytower from my boss's office or in the bathroom (yes, you read that correctly). The company provides coffee, tea, crackers, cookies and cheese. I've really been enjoying my 20 minute morning tea (cheese and crackers are my new favorite snack!). I also get an hour lunch break, which in a way can be a bad thing as I'm downtown in the middle of a thousand shops.

I'm still reading Captivating. I'm trying to take my time through it because there is so much in it. Just today I was reading about how Jesus romances me. I've begun to realize that I'm not making enough of a sacrifice to pray. I'm normally running late in the morning (I catch the 6:55 train) and I attempt to pray on the train, but it's just too distracting. Ironically, Stephanie just asked me if I wanted to start praying with her some mornings. She catches the trian that leaves 5 minutes before mine, so I'm hoping that this will help me become more disciplined. Stupid snooze button.

I only write things about my spiritual walk because I know it's the only way anyone back home will know what's going on with me. It is too easy to pretend things are fine, give the right answers and never really let anyone know what's really going on. I don't want to be like that. I want to be vulnerable. I want you all to know what I'm feeling and where I'm at with God.

I've been giving a lot of thought about my walk with God. If I don't have a decent quiet time, I can tell. Something's definitely missing, but it doesn't mean I'm any less of a Christian. I think so often if I mess up, I blame myself and think I'm failing. I believe that if I can start looking at this on a more positive note, I won't feel as if I can't go to God since I've screwed up. Maybe my brain works differently from some, but that's how I work.

Well, I think I am going to go research some more places I want to go to in NZ. I'm going to try and plan some weekend trips soon now that I have a job. I still need to post some more pics. I'm such a slacker!

I hope everyone is doing well!

Chattels

My dad had knee replacement surgery today on both legs today. I'm so glad it went well. I know it will be painful in the beginning, but hopefully it will be worth it. It sucks being so far away b/c I would have liked to have been there to help out, but I'm glad he has my mom and brother to help him through the healing process.

Lately I've been reading the book Captivating with a couple of sisters here in Auckland. I've been wanting to read this book for a while, and now I've finally gotten the chance. It's quite an interesting book about a woman's heart, her struggles and biggest fears. Today I realized something I've been waiting for.

"Not only do most women fear they will ulimately be abandoned by the men in their lives-they fear it from other women as well. That they will be abandoned by their friends, and left alone. It's time to reveal this passive threat, this crippling fear, this terrible lie."

It finally dawned on me. I finally know this bitterness in my heart. Abandonment. It's the reason I struggle to fogive. It seems so simple and I can't believe I didn't realize it before. I am terrified of being abandoned and yet, I know what it feels like. The moment I realized it, I had this image in my head of my heart beginning to mend. I understand it takes time, but I've been praying for God to reveal to me what I need to know to move past this point in my life. Yes, it hurts to feel this way, but I know Satan will continue to tell me lies. Lies that he hopes will stop me from befriending others and being open, loving and trusting as I once was. I refuse to let that happen.

This book also describes how Satan has had a hand in filling women with self-doubt in order to prevent ones restoration.

"For this is what he fears. He fears who you are; what you are; what you might become."

Later, it also says, "You are passionately loved by the God of the universe. You are passionately hated by his Enemy."

It's all beginning to make sense now. I might have been abandoned, but God will never abandon me. He is my best friend, my confident, my Father. I needed to be abandoned. I needed to learn these lessons. I'm still healing, but I hope to one day face the problem and walk away leaning on God and thanking him for this difficult situation.

Who knows what will happen from here? All I can do is continue to pray for help in letting go of the bitterness and pray sincerely for everyone. This is the last thing I want to deal with while in this beautiful country, but I'm beginning to understand that's part of the reason I'm here.

My work in New Zealand is just beginning.

boy racer

I accepted the job at the law firm and started today. I was so excited when I arrived and found out one of the attorney's I'm a PA for bought me a gift! It was my very own coffee mug. Kiwi's are quite obsessed with tea and coffee and my workmates are possessive about their mugs. It's a very unique mug too...I've never seen one like it. I'm not sure I can explain it, but it sits partially on it's handle.

The day went by rather quickly. My brain was on complete overload by the time I left, but the attorneys are very organized/organised and I like that I have my own cubicle. And no, I didn't have a case of the Mondays today. :)

The best part of the job is that they're giving me the month of February off to go and travel. :) YAY! To the south island!

Oh, I didn't get a chance to write about my adventure on Saturday. A big group of us from the church drove way out in the wops to plant trees. As I stood with a spade in my hand, overlooking the beautiful green hills full of white balls of fluff (aka sheep), I realized I am not made for the country.

Seriously though, it was so beautiful, even though it was raining, the scenery looked like a painting. I will have to post pictures, but I'm way too tired to do so now.

It seems like people back in Charlotte are going back to school this week. Good luck to all of you. I hope you all have a fabulous year ahead of you. It still hasn't hit me that I've graduated. Then again, I still have a hard time believing I'm actually here in NZ. Ah, mind games.

"People like you take all my luck."

I got an incredible job offer today! It's at a law firm, and I'm really hoping it's a great experience. I just had the interview yesterday and they called today to offer the job. I'm quite excited. The people there seem very nice and it's right downtown in the middle of everything. It seems like it's going to be a lot of work, but it's a Mon-Fri job and they've offered to give me the month of February off to travel. I have one more interview tomorrow, but I'm planning on calling and accepting the offer afterwards.

Other than searching for a job, I haven't done too much. I went to a couple more volcanoes (pictures to come). I suppose until I'm able to save up and actually go on my holiday, my life will seem typical. Work, work and more work. At least I don't have school on top of it.

So until it's time for traveling, I'll continue to do what I planned to do; grow in my relationship with God and learn more about myself.

Anti-

I suppose I should back up a bit. I accepted this job at a hotel, but I only lasted a day. For the wage they offered, it just didn't seem worth it, especially since I would have to pay $150 a month to take the train there. Also, I would either be catching the 5:30am train or catching the late bus after 11pm depending on the shift I worked. The hotel was nice, and the people there were quite friendly, but the majority of them spoke broken English. It just wasn't the job I was looking for...so I didn't sign the contract.

Tomorrow, the job hunt begins again.

The day I quit turned out to be a good day actually. I went to a black sand beach for the first time ever. Two brothers, Mo and Sam, went with me to Piha. I can't wait until it gets warmer so I can go back without a jacket on. I love how some of the pictures came out.

My first glance at Piha from the road.

My first handful of black sand! :)

Many people die in this surf, but it supposedly has some of the best waves for surfing. I think I'll stick to wading.

It was kind of cold and very windy if you can't tell.

Messing with mother nature...

Are you suprised I'm mocking it?

This picture was taken from half way up Lion's Rock. You aren't allowed to go any higher than this anymore.

The amazing view from halfway. I wish I was allowed to go all the way, but that climb looked a bit terrifying. I saw two girls go up, but I like feeling safe.

Lion's Rock

Trying to tame the hair...

Sam, me and Mo on Lion's Rock.

Section

Today was an interesting day. I went to my interview, and I'm not sure that it went that well. Not only did the editor interview me, but the marketing manager was also there at the same time. I felt like every question they asked, I gave a crappy answer. They said that I didn't have that much experience, but they can see that I can write. If they want to give me a chance, they said they will first email me a story to work on, but will only give me an hour to write it. They have a special way of writing as it is a council newsletter/newspaper.

So I'm not really expecting a call back, but I suppose there's always hope. The job sounds intense though.

After the interview, I felt like crap. I was going to go hang out with Julia, but then I noticed I had a missed call. A guy from a hotel downtown wanted to interview me. I called him back, and walked straight over to the hotel for an interview. I met Christian (the restuarant and bar manager), Chris (female assistant manager), and Peter (the general manager). The interview lasted all of 15 minutes, but they offered me a job on the spot. They're concerned about the transportation issue b/c the train doesn't run until 6am and doesn't run after 10pm. They said they will probably pay me $12-13 an hour, and sometimes I will be working over 40 hours. I took the job since I need one, but I will continue to look elsewhere.

Now I suppose I have to tell you what the job is...so prepare to laugh. Some education I have. My dad was right. You're now looking at a new cocktail waitress. So sad.

The hotel has a bar in the front and the restaurant is behind it. They wanted me in the bar b/c all 3 commented on my bubbly personality and how outgoing I am. That is the first time I've been described as bubbly, but I'm going to take it as a compliment. I have my trial run on Thursday morning. I have to catch the train at 5:30am to get there in time. Eh.

Well, I am going to try to get to sleep early so I will be ready to go to sleep early tomorrow night. Wish me luck.

Your waitress.

Fringe

I have a job interview tomorrow! It's for a writing position at a local newsletter. I'm kind of nervous, as this is my first interview, but hopefully it won't be the last. I would really like this job though because it's a 6 month contract. I would be able to save some money, then afterwards, take off for the south island and travel for a month. I'm such a dreamer.

Other than applying for jobs, I've been spending a lot of time with people from church. I've been learning a lot about myself in just these two weeks that I've been here. I hope and pray that this trip is exactly what I need. I've come to realize there is some bitterness in my heart towards someone that I really must get over. It sounds so easy, but I've allowed Satan to really grab ahold, which is obviously the last thing I wanted. So I ask for your help in prayer...that I can fully forgive and not hold any remaining bitterness in my heart.

On a happier note, I went to Devonport recently. There are two dormant volcanoes there, with amazing views. I hope you enjoy these pictures!

Here I am, being goofy. :)

Mt. Victoria

I love this city! Everywhere I go, I see spectacular views of the city.

It was extremely windy on top of Mt. Victoria!

I felt like Mario. I didn't see any evil villains though.

My new friend!

View from the top of North Head

Before the tide went out...

and after.

I got to see a really cool graveyard. If you know me well enough, there are obviously more pictures than this, but I thought I would spare you.

Chess anyone?