There were two more things I wanted to mention, but I feel they both need their own blog entry.
First off, Brandon's brother has left for Iraq. It doesn't seem real to me that we're sending 18 and 19 year old kids over there. Are we really doing that?
I think back to 9/11 and how people just wanted revenge. It seems so long ago. I heard about all the protesters back there and still am amazed at how Bush continues to compare this war to Vietnam. I really don't want to start a debate on here (heaven forbid someone like Isaac reads it and tears apart my argument).
It was just a thought...to write an entry reminding people to pray for those over there and for those who have been affected by it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The second thing I wanted to mention is that it's been six months since Heather died.
Six months.
It feels like yesterday. I still regret we weren't as close the last year she was alive, but the memories and her hugs are still so real to me.
So much has happened in these past six months. I've learned about true friendship, grief, regret and what it means to weep.
I actually had a dream about Heather not too long ago and wept some more when I woke up just happy to have the chance to see her again. I wish I could have told her all about New Zealand. Then again, I wish I could just understand why.
Heather Brink...There are no words to describe how much you're missed.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I love you donut lady
Work was quite hectic this week. I really like my job though, so it hasn't been bad. I keep telling everyone that my souvenir to take back with me will be carpal tunnel.
It still hasn't exactly hit me that I've graduated. I'm really enjoying the extra time to hang out, plan trips and read. I miss school sometimes as strange as it sounds. It's all I've known for five years and while I look forward to getting into my field next year, I'm going to miss it. Strange.
Auckland truly amazes me. I suppose it's quite similar to any other large city, but I still find myself fascinated by it as I walk to and from the train. I really love it when I have to take a walk to the court house or someplace for work. It allows me a chance to enjoy my new favorite hobby: People watching. Actually, I think I've always enjoyed watching strangers around me, but I've really seen some interesting sights.
For example, one day I was on the train when this man sat down. It didn't take long for me to notice him as he was wearing a black and white plaid suit (jacket and pants), purple socks and brown shoes. For a man in his 60's, I give him props for being so bold yet I found myself laughing and imagining what Nicole, Erin or Heather's response would be.
Another time I was walking around during my lunch break when I saw a Smart Car. Now I've seen these several times in Germany and to this day still get a kick out of seeing them here, but this one was special. It obviously was being used to advertise as it had 6 LARGE speakers attached to the top of it playing some unheard of music. I suppose this may only have been amusing to me, but I was amazed the speakers even fit on that car.
Ah, the things I see.
I recently got a haircut and while it's not the worst I've ever had, I think it comes in second place. Now I know this is not typical in NZ because I've asked a few people, but the woman who cut my hair would use the comb and cut ABOVE it. She told me she was only going to take off a half an inch and it turned out to be more like four. Sigh.. at least my hair will grow.
New Zealand has proven itself to be more expensive than I would have expected. I went to buy new mascara recently and was stunned to find out a cheap US$7 tube would cost NZ$20!
Speaking of differences, my parents sent me a care package. They told me to open it at work because a few items were to be kept at work. I opened it to find an extra large bag of peanut m&ms that weighed around 42oz or something. You can imagine my surprise when I turned around and three of my workmates were holding their camera phones taking a picture to send to their friends. And we wonder why Americans are overweight. Haha.
After a long week at work, we had a singles and teens night on Friday. One of the tern's brought her scrapbook of her trip to the South Island. I was completely blown away and wish that February would get faster.
I realize there are people who think it's dumb for me to be staying in Auckland the majority of my time here. I would have to agree on some level as I want to see as much of NZ as possible, but I understand part of why God wants me here and I want to live His plan, not mine. I get myself into too much trouble when I try to do things my way. So to everyone who thinks I might be wasting time or something, I have faith and I trust that God is planning something great for me. I have to trust that...it's the only way I stay sane. :)
Well, I think it might be time to sign off. After celebrating Dylan's first birthday and lying around reading all day, I'm tired. I hope everyone is doing well!
It still hasn't exactly hit me that I've graduated. I'm really enjoying the extra time to hang out, plan trips and read. I miss school sometimes as strange as it sounds. It's all I've known for five years and while I look forward to getting into my field next year, I'm going to miss it. Strange.
Auckland truly amazes me. I suppose it's quite similar to any other large city, but I still find myself fascinated by it as I walk to and from the train. I really love it when I have to take a walk to the court house or someplace for work. It allows me a chance to enjoy my new favorite hobby: People watching. Actually, I think I've always enjoyed watching strangers around me, but I've really seen some interesting sights.
For example, one day I was on the train when this man sat down. It didn't take long for me to notice him as he was wearing a black and white plaid suit (jacket and pants), purple socks and brown shoes. For a man in his 60's, I give him props for being so bold yet I found myself laughing and imagining what Nicole, Erin or Heather's response would be.
Another time I was walking around during my lunch break when I saw a Smart Car. Now I've seen these several times in Germany and to this day still get a kick out of seeing them here, but this one was special. It obviously was being used to advertise as it had 6 LARGE speakers attached to the top of it playing some unheard of music. I suppose this may only have been amusing to me, but I was amazed the speakers even fit on that car.
Ah, the things I see.
I recently got a haircut and while it's not the worst I've ever had, I think it comes in second place. Now I know this is not typical in NZ because I've asked a few people, but the woman who cut my hair would use the comb and cut ABOVE it. She told me she was only going to take off a half an inch and it turned out to be more like four. Sigh.. at least my hair will grow.
New Zealand has proven itself to be more expensive than I would have expected. I went to buy new mascara recently and was stunned to find out a cheap US$7 tube would cost NZ$20!
Speaking of differences, my parents sent me a care package. They told me to open it at work because a few items were to be kept at work. I opened it to find an extra large bag of peanut m&ms that weighed around 42oz or something. You can imagine my surprise when I turned around and three of my workmates were holding their camera phones taking a picture to send to their friends. And we wonder why Americans are overweight. Haha.
After a long week at work, we had a singles and teens night on Friday. One of the tern's brought her scrapbook of her trip to the South Island. I was completely blown away and wish that February would get faster.
I realize there are people who think it's dumb for me to be staying in Auckland the majority of my time here. I would have to agree on some level as I want to see as much of NZ as possible, but I understand part of why God wants me here and I want to live His plan, not mine. I get myself into too much trouble when I try to do things my way. So to everyone who thinks I might be wasting time or something, I have faith and I trust that God is planning something great for me. I have to trust that...it's the only way I stay sane. :)
Well, I think it might be time to sign off. After celebrating Dylan's first birthday and lying around reading all day, I'm tired. I hope everyone is doing well!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Why have a party with socks?
My spiritual birthday was fabulous. At lunch time, I went to the park across the street and started writing. It was a great day. The sky was such a bright blue and although it was about 60 degrees, the palm tree I was sitting under made it seem a lot warmer.
On Saturday, I went with a few others to this place called Tree Adventures. We would attach ourselves to zip lines/fly foxes and work through different obstacles. Check out the pictures and videos below. It was such a blast!
Practice run...
I decided to take some dirt home as a sovenir.
The 6 of us that went...
On Saturday, I went with a few others to this place called Tree Adventures. We would attach ourselves to zip lines/fly foxes and work through different obstacles. Check out the pictures and videos below. It was such a blast!
Practice run...
I decided to take some dirt home as a sovenir.
The 6 of us that went...
Above is a video of me crashing into the ground. This was so much fun! I really want to go back. :)
Here I am surfing...this was one of my favorite parts.
This video cracks me up!!! Good try Tyler.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Heaps
I really like my job at the law firm...the only downfall is that I'm exhausted when I get home. I really think I've just been stressing myself out in trying to be perfect so when I make a mistake I get frustrated. I've spent some time praying about this too...that I'll just hand it over to God and stop trying to be the best for man. I want to do my best for God, even while at work.
I heard a really great lesson at church today. The point was made that when people wrong us, we're quick to point a finger, but when we're wrong, we are quick to justify and not admit our wrongdoings. So as I think about this whole abandonment issue, I admit I was not perfect. God knows where I messed up and I've prayed a lot about just moving on.
Two years ago, I found God. These past two years have been hard, and I know there are harder ones to come, but I don't regret my decision. Oh yes...I have made mistakes, learned a lot, been abandoned and hurt, experienced happy emotional tears and my heart still yearns for God. This fight has only begun and it will be interesting to see where I am at in two years.
After my last post, a sister in Charlotte wrote me this long email that encouraged my soul beyond words. She explained that I haven't lost my fire, it's only grown...and I'm now on this whole new level. She even sent me a list of ways she's seen me grow. One thing mentioned that I found funny was serving by doing a brother's laundry. It's funny though b/c when I did it, I never thought of it being an inconvience...or serving. The two she listed that made me think was how I turn to God more in rough/interesting situations (loosing a friend, coming to NZ, etc) and how I'm very caring about the spiritual well-being of others.
I consider the last two exactly what I needed to hear. It's not always easy going to God first. I'm not exactly sure how I made the decision when I got baptized to make a year vow to God to not date anyone, but I'm glad I did it. I needed to learn to focus on Him and always put Him first. Someone recently told me that it's easier to be single because you're able to focus on God first and not worry about someone else. I suppose there is some truth to that, but as long as the other person is aiming towards the same goal, I can only hope and pray that I fight to put Him first always.
I considered caring about the spiritual well-being of others to be a curse this year. It saddens me that I let this one situation allow me to feel as if I shouldn't care, especially if it's going to turn someone against me. I stand corrected. God placed certain convictions on my heart that I hope I live by until I die. It is who I am...it is how He is refining me.
To this sister, I thank her for her email. To everyone reading this, I am happy to be celebrating my 2nd birthday this week. I will continue to fight, learn and love. It is when I no longer focus on God that I do not recognize myself. He is my rock and I can do nothing without him. I pray God continues to soften my heart and allow me to learn as much as I can while I'm abroad. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to check in on me. Please feel free to leave or email prayer requests because while I may be far away, prayer is powerful and I want to help in any way possible.
::Singing Someday::
I heard a really great lesson at church today. The point was made that when people wrong us, we're quick to point a finger, but when we're wrong, we are quick to justify and not admit our wrongdoings. So as I think about this whole abandonment issue, I admit I was not perfect. God knows where I messed up and I've prayed a lot about just moving on.
Two years ago, I found God. These past two years have been hard, and I know there are harder ones to come, but I don't regret my decision. Oh yes...I have made mistakes, learned a lot, been abandoned and hurt, experienced happy emotional tears and my heart still yearns for God. This fight has only begun and it will be interesting to see where I am at in two years.
After my last post, a sister in Charlotte wrote me this long email that encouraged my soul beyond words. She explained that I haven't lost my fire, it's only grown...and I'm now on this whole new level. She even sent me a list of ways she's seen me grow. One thing mentioned that I found funny was serving by doing a brother's laundry. It's funny though b/c when I did it, I never thought of it being an inconvience...or serving. The two she listed that made me think was how I turn to God more in rough/interesting situations (loosing a friend, coming to NZ, etc) and how I'm very caring about the spiritual well-being of others.
I consider the last two exactly what I needed to hear. It's not always easy going to God first. I'm not exactly sure how I made the decision when I got baptized to make a year vow to God to not date anyone, but I'm glad I did it. I needed to learn to focus on Him and always put Him first. Someone recently told me that it's easier to be single because you're able to focus on God first and not worry about someone else. I suppose there is some truth to that, but as long as the other person is aiming towards the same goal, I can only hope and pray that I fight to put Him first always.
I considered caring about the spiritual well-being of others to be a curse this year. It saddens me that I let this one situation allow me to feel as if I shouldn't care, especially if it's going to turn someone against me. I stand corrected. God placed certain convictions on my heart that I hope I live by until I die. It is who I am...it is how He is refining me.
To this sister, I thank her for her email. To everyone reading this, I am happy to be celebrating my 2nd birthday this week. I will continue to fight, learn and love. It is when I no longer focus on God that I do not recognize myself. He is my rock and I can do nothing without him. I pray God continues to soften my heart and allow me to learn as much as I can while I'm abroad. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to check in on me. Please feel free to leave or email prayer requests because while I may be far away, prayer is powerful and I want to help in any way possible.
::Singing Someday::
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Tyres
Since I've been working so much lately, I haven't taken the time to put up pictures. Here are a few from the past couple of weeks or so.
Sheep (or sheeps as Mo says)
This picture was taking on our way to go plant trees. It was so unbelievably green and beautiful.
The coffee mug given to me my first day at work. :)
My first experience at a Korean BBQ. I bet everyone thought I was special when I told them I'd never been somewhere that required me to pay to cook my own food like this.
Some of the disciples here in Auckland...William, Stephanie and Sam.
Me! (on one of the many volcanoes)
Sam, Mo and I freezing on top of Mt Eden I believe.
This small beach seemed to just come out of nowhere...
John and Paulline. Paulline and I try to get lunch together every Monday at the Knuckle Sandwich. :)
Apparently there used to be a tree here, but someone cut it down out. So now, One Tree Hill can be referred to as None Tree Hill. Ha ha.
Sheep (or sheeps as Mo says)
This picture was taking on our way to go plant trees. It was so unbelievably green and beautiful.
The coffee mug given to me my first day at work. :)
My first experience at a Korean BBQ. I bet everyone thought I was special when I told them I'd never been somewhere that required me to pay to cook my own food like this.
Some of the disciples here in Auckland...William, Stephanie and Sam.
Me! (on one of the many volcanoes)
Sam, Mo and I freezing on top of Mt Eden I believe.
This small beach seemed to just come out of nowhere...
John and Paulline. Paulline and I try to get lunch together every Monday at the Knuckle Sandwich. :)
Apparently there used to be a tree here, but someone cut it down out. So now, One Tree Hill can be referred to as None Tree Hill. Ha ha.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Pram
Does time heal all wounds? I've been giving this some thought recently. I want to believe it. I want it to be true. But yet...I still doubt.
Someone recently wrote to me and told me that my last blog sounded depressing. While I understand and appreciate their concern, I know that I can sound pessimistic at times when I'm really only trying to convey my deepest feelings.
I'm coming up on my second year as a disciple. In about 12 days I will be two, and while it's already been a long journey, I can only imagine what the next two years will be like. I love being a disciple. I love meeting my brothers and sisters around the world and really feeling how big and how real this truly is. I can't help but think back to where I was two years ago...so young and so alive...so passionate and on fire. It saddens me to think how the world and old friendships have taken a toll on me. I compare myself to where I was two years ago and am convicted. I wasn't afraid of the future. I knew I'd always have God by my side. My love for God was anything but transparent.
I saw the movie Amazing Grace last night and was quite impressed. Even at $14, the movie was well worth it. I keep thinking back to this scene where the main character goes to his garden and just sits on the wet grass and talks to God. He states that he would rather be spending his time there than pursuing his career. Of course these scene brings thoughts and questions up. Am I making every effort? I don't expect this blog to benefit anyone aside from myself at this point. I just know that writing my feelings and forcing myself to be vulnerable is the only way I grasp the confused jumbled thoughts in my head.
Well, it is quite late here and I need to get some sleep before church tomorrow. Don't be surprised if I write more of my thoughts as it comes closer to 13 September. Life is confusing...this much I know. And I am one confused individual. For now, I think I'll go rest my busy mind and prepare myself for another full day of thoughts.
Someone recently wrote to me and told me that my last blog sounded depressing. While I understand and appreciate their concern, I know that I can sound pessimistic at times when I'm really only trying to convey my deepest feelings.
I'm coming up on my second year as a disciple. In about 12 days I will be two, and while it's already been a long journey, I can only imagine what the next two years will be like. I love being a disciple. I love meeting my brothers and sisters around the world and really feeling how big and how real this truly is. I can't help but think back to where I was two years ago...so young and so alive...so passionate and on fire. It saddens me to think how the world and old friendships have taken a toll on me. I compare myself to where I was two years ago and am convicted. I wasn't afraid of the future. I knew I'd always have God by my side. My love for God was anything but transparent.
I saw the movie Amazing Grace last night and was quite impressed. Even at $14, the movie was well worth it. I keep thinking back to this scene where the main character goes to his garden and just sits on the wet grass and talks to God. He states that he would rather be spending his time there than pursuing his career. Of course these scene brings thoughts and questions up. Am I making every effort? I don't expect this blog to benefit anyone aside from myself at this point. I just know that writing my feelings and forcing myself to be vulnerable is the only way I grasp the confused jumbled thoughts in my head.
Well, it is quite late here and I need to get some sleep before church tomorrow. Don't be surprised if I write more of my thoughts as it comes closer to 13 September. Life is confusing...this much I know. And I am one confused individual. For now, I think I'll go rest my busy mind and prepare myself for another full day of thoughts.
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