Relaxation and Wellington

When we got back from the Crossing, we all ordered separate pizzas and pigged out. Talk about being hungry. The guys also made me try this Scottish drink called Irn Bru and I really enjoyed it.



We paid a bit extra to take a different bus from Stray the next day because the day we all needed to be down there, Stray wasn't operating. On the way, I was quite bored. I think I was just used to being extremely busy but luckily both Martin and Chris have great taste in music so we just swapped our iPods around the whole time. There are a lot of bands they introduced me to as well and I'm really going to look into them more now.

Finally, we made it to Wellington. It was our intention to go to another bar...basically it was our last night together as Yvonne was leaving the next morning and then we were all parting ways on Sunday. Without even a second thought, I followed them to the bar. On the way there, Martin mentioned my heart necklace I always wear. He said that women hold necklaces that mean something to them and he'd seen me hold mine before. I'd never heard that before but I thought that was really cool...yet sad at the same time. I realised that I hadn't really spent much time with God recently and I had changed so much in three weeks I was beyond confused about everything.

We got hungry a bit later and made our way to Burger King. Chris and I somehow managed to get on the topic of how I try to fix people. I don't know why I do this. What's even weirder is that the topic came back up later when I was talking to Martin. A lot of what Martin said was quite challenging. It really made me start thinking hard about why I believe the things I do. The questions I once found so easy to answer all of a sudden seemed difficult. That's what travelling had done to me. It was then that I realised how much my heart and my mind are at war.

After about maybe 4 hours of sleep (our hostel had 20 beds in it!), we got up and went to the Te Papa museum. I really like this picture I got of the guys as they had a Scottish exhibit in the museum:



What's really funny is that they asked me to point out Scotland on the map inside and it made me nervous. I knew where it was but I was just so scared of being that "dumb American." Haha.
Afterwards, we went to ride on the cable cars. Had I been more awake, I might have enjoyed the view a bit more. It should come as no surprise that I went back to the hostel and took a nap.

When we all woke up and waiting for Chris to get ready (wow he's slow), I was getting everyone to write their email addresses in the back of my journal. Stupid I know. I wasn't exactly paying attention until I heard Martin say, "Is it okay that I'm reading this?" I'm pretty sure I flipped out because Angela said, "What's the big deal?" to which I explained it contained personal stuff. All I could think about was the spiritual struggles I had written about and how embarrassing that would be to have someone to read it. Oh well.

I believe this trip was full of rather interesting conversations. That night I found myself having a convo with all of them about not being in a hurry to get married. If I've learned ANYTHING in New Zealand, it's that marriage is hard and I am nowhere near patient enough nor do I wish to give up my independence yet. Being around all of them made me want to travel forever. Just work for the government in different countries, immerse myself in new cultures and just live every day amazed by all my new surroundings. It's really difficult when you catch the travel bug.

My last talk with Chris proved to be an interesting one. It left me so confused about my life, but not entirely in a bad way. Travelling has changed me...and not all for the best. My relationship with God has become rather shaky. I hate admitting it but it's true. I suddenly was so tired of standing out and being different. It was only after I returned to Auckland that I reminded myself that that is what I'm called to do and wishing to live even remotely close to my old ways is beyond foolish.

When I returned to Auckland, my boss asked me if I planned to renew my Visa. While it's very tempting, I have to think about God right now because I haven't done a good job of that lately. Obviously, I haven't done my best spiritually as of late and that's no one's fault but mine.
I'm getting ready to leave for the South Island soon and I'm going to try my hardest to fight harder. I do love God, but a lot has changed and I don't want to become lukewarm. I write all this because it's all I know to do. I write...that's my thing.

Leaving New Zealand is going to be difficult....but going back to the States is going to be even harder. How am I supposed to go back to my old life when I'm no longer that person? I don't hate the States, don't get me wrong. I want to see my family and friends, but I have this desire to travel as well. I hope this explains the whole heart vs. mind thing I'm presently struggling with.

There are heaps more pictures that you can look at if you get a chance.

Here are the links:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2121203&l=22706&id=36600409
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2122029&l=6317a&id=36600409
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2122785&l=f82a7&id=36600409
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2122790&l=94e0b&id=36600409
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2122792&l=25dc5&id=36600409

On Saturday, I'm off to the South Island for the month, so don't expect me to write on here often, if at all. I'll write when I can!