Wow, I haven't updated this in quite a while. I've been here four months now and most days it only feels like two. So what do I have to say about four months abroad? It's definitely an experience. I'm only now to the point where I barely notice the accent anymore and I'm still learning heaps about the culture. I'm really excited about traveling over Christmas, to see some new places and gain more knowledge of these crazy Kiwi's.
I've had thoughts about my trip home as well. There are things I don't look forward to...finding a job, finding a place to live, getting used to being back in the States, etc. However, there are many things I look forward to about returning home...time with my family, seeing my friends, being back at the Charlotte Church.
I made a promise before I came that if I started struggling spiritually, I would go back home. While I'm not on the verge of walking away from God, but I've felt disconnected. I've realized how easy it is to be selfish and I have the ability to do what I want when I want without being held accountable. Yes there is a church here...which I am very grateful for. I'm so thankful that God put it on my heart to go only where there was a sister church, yet it's different. It's nothing against the church, it's just that people back home know where I come from and how I am. The fortunate thing is that I feel like certain aspects of me are changing that needed to change....and I hope that continues.
I say all this because I want people to know that I am fighting to come back different...one who always sticks to her convictions no matter where she is in the world, someone who tries to encourage others no matter what and one who lets go and forgives. God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness. It's amazing to see how my prayers are changing. I don't feel as bitter as I once was towards situations in my past. I also pray for good things to happen to those who walked away from my friendship. I still have a long way to go, but to feel God heal my heart slowly is such a comfort.
Coming back to Charlotte won't be easy. In two years of being a disciple, I hurt people, held grudges and was completely selfish. I will always struggle to be selfless but I want to come back a compassionate, forgiving loving woman of God.
The situations I have found myself in whilst abroad have been real faithbuilders. I can't go into detail on all of them, but I needed this. Right now, I'm not sure when I'll be coming back to Charlotte. It could be March or it could be June. Either way, I want to come back when I've learned everything that God wants me to learn and I want to have grown in every way possible.
So if you've been wondering what I've been up to, I've been having fun, working heaps and growing in my relationship with God. I have no idea if any of this makes sense to people back home, but it had to be said. I haven't been ignoring this page or anything. I just need to be more consistent in updating it. :)
Send me an email if you wish to chat. I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Until next time...this crazy wannabe Kiwi (for a year anyway!) is signing off.
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