Back to reality and time to reflect

If you haven't noticed by now, I have delayed putting up blog entries about my South Island experience. I loved the South Island. I really had a great time, but I think that I've delayed writing about it because it means there are things I must own up to. Now I don't want you to start worrying, I remained safe and didn't get into any real trouble. However, spiritually speaking my first two weeks weren't not exactly filled with my best moments.

When I first got baptized, I was on fire. Although people warned me it would get harder, I felt as if nothing could harm me. All I needed was God and everything else just didn't matter.

Year two got a bit trickier. Situations came up and when tested, I look back and realize I failed miserably in some areas. My stubbornness caused severe stress on friendships and I focused on myself more than one ought to. I look back at when I was in Colorado getting ready to leave for New Zealand and wonder if I'd really been as inconsiderate as I feel I was. For example, when Heather's grandmother died, I was sad for her but I was out of touch with any compassion one should share with her friend in mourning. Year two was not one full of compassion on my part.

Then year three began. I truly believed that when I came to New Zealand, I'd remain invincible but I suppose that's when God humbles us the most. Year three has been hard. I love God and I desperately want to be as close as I once was but I can't sit here and yearn for the past. God has allowed me to be my own person and make my own decisions whilst abroad. I fully understand how I ended up in some of the situations I never foresaw. God has taught me so much and has changed me drastically.

It will take a while to post everything about the South Island, but I hope that you go into reading about my South Island experience foreseeing what I lacked to see. Just remember though, I am still trying to be a disciple and put God first. I own up to the fact that I made some mistakes, however, God knows exactly what we need when we need it...and after two weeks of travelling on my own, Brandon and Michelle showed up and I started to see how I'd let my surroundings influence me.